The AuthorDesigner & Nice Migrant Mom
in Germany

I love Germany! I've lived here since 2006. People ask if I miss where I came from. As an adventurous type, I have to say no. I want to see the world and meet the people of the world and taste the food of the world. I want to hear stories about the world. I have met so many nice people from all over the world. I have lived in two other countries than my own. Fun! In my own country, the USA, I lived in 4 states, each in a different corner of the country. Now I'm married, with a delightful family, living in Germany. German people are wonderfully wonderful. German culture is wonderful. Germany has so many things to see and do here, like archeology and geology and art musuems and monuments and sites of famous battles and famous people and super old stuff tucked into the landscape and medieval towns and dorfs with amazing restaurants and old forests and mountains and Biergartens and Biergartens on top of mountains and vineyards and Kaffee Kultur. Don't get me started! I really think the world of you, Germany. *kiss*

Mostly inaccurate portrayals of me, except for one…

IAQ

Infrequentlyly Asked Questions

Me, Grace Bollmann. 

I also did the layout and book design. I’m a designer.

I have been working on VisiGrammar on and off, in one form or another, since 2000. It was briefly an app, published in 2017. Most unfortunately, the app became technologically obsolete almost immediately. I wrote that app, and didn’t feel like updating it. I’m not only a nice migrant lady who loves Germany, I’m also a busy stay-at-home mom.

Anyway, apps are great, but a real book is better suited to “Point & Speak”. Et voilà!

Who was Jean-Francois Champollion to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics in 1822? Champollion pondered the Rosetta Stone until he saw something no one had seen before. Likewise, VisiGrammar is a decipherment. I am a designer, so I looked at German grammar through the lens of design. Design brings order and meaning to abstract information. Credentialed people, such as linguists and teachers are busy with other things. 

In reverse… why has no linguist ever created such a map? 

Whereas a linguist is interested in the fine-detail mechanics of speech, a designer is interested in the mechanics of intuitive understanding. As groups, linguists and designers love different details: dissection vs connection. To each his own. Some people want to know the name of every street. Some people just want to arrive. 

To your question…

No, I’m not a linguist. My university education is managerial finance, banking, economics, and industrial design (aka product design). I am a user and casual student of the German language.

Sometimes my German is AMAZING.

The Not-So-Obvious

I was not taught with VisiGrammar. I developed it as I struggled to learn German with standard methods. Meanwhile, I built a very large number of (wrong) shortcuts and (terrible) habits into my speech. 

The Terrible Start

Every American knows that German is difficult. Every American knows Americans are bad with languages. Therefore, my first mistake was feeling defeated from the start. I thought I could never ever ever learn the gender categories for an entirely new vocabulary, so I resigned myself to faking it. Expats often say it… I’ll absorb it like children do. In practice, that means guessing your way into a ruined vocabulary and damaged speech.

See Entry Below “The Feedback Problem”: how people correct you might also ruin your absorption of noun-gender.

I moved to Germany at age 36 with a baby and a toddler. Before that, my investment in learning German was already very low. I verrrry casually learned. Very. In fact, I was only a student twice. Two weeks in 2000 and a couple weeks again in about 2014 or something. I had low expectations. I had 2 young children. People understood me.

Sidenote: Accent

In the beginning, people wouldn’t notice that I was a foreign speaker until a few sentences in! I really tried hard to replicate the sounds. With time, I suppose, as one relaxes about speaking, an accent cannot be covered. Not when you start speaking at 36! Today, people most often guess that I am Dutch. I am American.

What is my German ability now?

Amazing and perfect (depending on the topic)! Astonishing and impressive (depending on my physical or mental energy in the moment)! That is to say… it can be great, and it can be a struggle. Like many, even in the best-case scenario, if I become overly conscious of what I’m saying … it all collapses. Like Luke Skywalker lifting an X-Wing from the swamp. That can make a person shy. In English, I am not shy.

If I become overly conscious of what I’m saying, it all collapses like Luke Skywalker lifting an X-Wing from the swamp.

My passive German – listening and understanding others – is about a billion times better than my spoken German. I rarely write German.

The Obvious

I can reproduce all the German grammar in any order or form! Knowing and using… not the same thing. It’s like knowing where all the spices are in the pantry versus making a delicious dinner. Not the same thing.

The following are normal experiences. You can’t manage them for other people.

The Not So Obvious

What’s it like? Often… feeling dumb and being taken for dumb. It’s difficult for someone to see your sparkling intellect through the fog of incoherent speech. Of course, some new speakers are indeed dumb. One never knows, so to be on the conversational safe side, the conversation can dial downward. It’s a well-intentioned and understandable starting point. Telling jokes or being light-hearted is quite difficult. You never know how that comes across. Sarcasm makes people very unsure of you. Sarcasm is often heard seriously, and therefore received as if you completely misunderstand the situation.

Noise

Speech is just noise. Organized noise. A loud environment, or being where sound bounces into the face, is hard.

While Distracted

I’m not very good at hearing German while thinking in English. If I get lost in thought, I am practically deaf to German. The exception: words I’ve internalised as synonyms for my native vocabulary.

While Sick

On account of exhaustion (thinking/translating another language is tiring) and ears being stuffed up… this is miserable. It’s doable, but miserable. You ask people to repeat words because you have acoustically not heard the words through your stuffed ears, and people assume you don’t understand anything at all. Or repeat from the beginning. And you already feel so tired and bad. You can’t even. That’s life.

Conversations with Tired People & Mutterers

Both of these produce half ideas and lots of meaningless sounds. Impossible.

Quick & Casual

The pros and cons on this one are the same. This produces incomplete thoughts, half sentences, rapid change of topics, and incoherent filler sounds, and plenty of expectation for you, the listener, to fill in meaning.

Official Business

Lots of never-before-heard jargon and specific instructions in bureaucratic terms. Restate everything and have them confirm.

Children

Surprisingly easy. They usually understand me, they just don’t know how to react to my “otherness” – accent, word order, etc.

Doctors

Pretty easy. Usually straightforward. Easy to establish beforehand the words you’ll use and hear.

The Phone

If you call someone else, it’s easier than if someone calls you. Why? You know your purpose – the vocabulary, the context. Someone calling you is disembodied word noise. You really have to focus. You don’t have lips or gestures. You don’t have clothing to give professional context. Since the context could be anything, so you may not have the vocabulary. In German, the point of the sentence comes at the end, so you have to juggle a lot of uncertainty before you can piece things together.

Masks

The worst. Muffled, no lips, no helpful facial expression. Tiring.

Other Expats

People can pretty easily speak bad German among each other. Everyone is making similar mistakes. Newcomers place a lot less emphasis on the case/article for meaning (which no one is getting right). The context clues are more important for meaning. This usually goes pretty well, but also usually runs into serious vocabulary issues.

I wish! I love Bavaria and Bavarians and Bayerisch! I get anywhere from 0-80% understanding. I cannot speak it at all.

I have noticed that it’s easier to speak Bayerisch when smiling. I heart ya, Bayern!

  • Bayerisch – 0-80% understood
  • Kölsch – 0-95% understood
  • Sächsich – 0-5% understood
  • Hoch Deutsch – 10-100% understood

Ausschließlich

I met my German husband in the Silicon Valley during the internet boom. He was working in the area of intellectual property, and he thought I was a hot intellectual. And THAT is how you get exported to Germany.

Well-meaning native speakers often confuse new German speakers.

Some correct the underlying article; others correct the case-grammar article. As a result, a student wonders why some people insist “die Schule” is correct and others insist “der Schule” is correct.

My tip: correct people only with the nominative form.

The Woodstack Example

From a conversation with a child, showing how nearly every possible article can be used to “correct” someone, resulting in zero gain and zero word-gender absorption.

I present the blur of correction…

The Designer

“Weg von DER Holzstapel!” –a mistake
(Get away from the woodstack!)

The Child

“Heee? ‘Von DEM Holzstapel’ ist richtig.”
(Huh? It should be DEM, not DER.)

The Designer

“Oje, ich hatte in Kopf dass es DIE Holzstapel war.”
(Oh, I had in mind that the nominative word-gender for woodstack was DIE, or feminine, which becomes DER.)

The Child

“Ja, aber DIE Holzstapel ist die Mehrzahl.”
(Yes, but DIE woodstacks is plural.)

The Designer

“Ja, aber ich habe nur Holzstapel als feminine geraten.”
(Yes, I just guessed that woodstack was feminine.)

The Child

“Nein. DER Holzstapel ist richtig.”
(No, DER woodstack is correct – in the nominative case.)
(It therefore becomes DEM in the Dative case.)

Wait. What?
The Designer’s incorrect use of DER resulted in the information that the correct article is … DER?!

What would you have remembered the next day: DER Stapel, DIE Stapel, or nothing?

In short, all your choices and connections are organized for just when you need it. Other choices are not in the way. Rather than an overloaded mess of details, you have the connections and proximity in pure form. Uncluttered.

The Historical Parallel…

Let’s first agree that Linguistics and Design are quite separate specialties, right down to the type of person who undertakes them. In a nutshell, let’s say little picture / big picture people. Additionally, I would be surprised if the study of Linguists included how to improve the study of Linguistics itself. Grammar grids are their tool. From their perspective, grids get the job done. No change needed. No shade.

A brief history of the first subway map – the London Tube map.

Once upon a time, a cartographer’s job was to catalog terrain and accurately reproduce it. The groundbreaking London Tube subway map – just colored lines and abstract angles, utterly lacking in scale – was bizarre and radical at the time. It was NOT the work of a cartographer, but an electrical draftsman. It even looks a bit electrical.

The very first subway maps, made by the Cartographers:

Before the famous London Tube subway map, Cartographers provided subway maps as:

  • isolated stations
  • on a huge, crowded map
  • each with highly detailed surroundings
  • that require you to memorize the interchanges at each station (or use a secondary look-up table)
  • then piece together the best route through mental juggling.

The first Tube map subtracted many things a cartographer thought were necessities (like distance and scale). There was a scuffle along the lines of “you can’t improve on a map – it’s perfection” and “who are YOU to make a map!” It is an interesting historical sidenote for you to pursue if you like.

The Grammar Grids Made By Linguists

Linguists are cartographers of language. They “need” grammar grids. That’s how they study it and communicate with their peers. Furthermore, studying the details and intricacies of language is quite exciting to them, so what better way to is there than lay out the dissection.

As cartographers, Linguists provide grammar learning materials as:

  • isolated parts of speech
  • in a large array of crowded tables
  • then discuss the surrounding speech with great detail
  • and require you to memorize the interchanges at each part of speech
  • From that, you are expected to quickly form a correct sentence through mental juggling.

As did the cartographers in London, a Linguist might also think, “Ha! You can’t improve that – it’s perfection!” And, of course, “who do you think YOU are!” VisiGrammar, too, takes away the linguistic “necessities” (like terminology and standard organization).

Result of “Doing It Wrong”

Understand the map system, and you can travel independently around the German language, just as you would the subway. Through restructuring and editing, both the London Tube Map and VisiGrammar are more useful than what came before. To this day, NO ONE prefers to navigate the subway with a cartographic atlas. 

Common Thinking of the Old Ways

“These are the tools of the trade, and this is how to use them.”

Categories and labels are how to understand something complex.

It’s factual, without an intrinsic connection being expressed.

Each element is surrounded by (and therefore isolated by) overwhelming detail.

Users must memorize the interchanges of a complex system.

Users need “the right path” quickly, but have no way to confirm it.

No Shade on Academic Linguistics Folks

I get it… they love language. That’s nice, too. They use those grids. It’s not for torture of students lol.

I don’t want to. I have other projects going on. Besides, given the state of online translation tools, what’s the point. Learning German is about human interaction, not text generation.

Yes – French and Latin. Do they look similar to German? No, not at all. Each pivots on something different. I’ve looked at various languages over the years.

Will they be published, too? Maybe. They are not at the same state of completion as the German maps. As mentioned above, I have other projects going on. (For instance, look at the Extras menu.) I will be moving on for the time being.

Me, Myself, & I

This was me: the invention of VisiGrammar Noun Maps, the further visualization of the rest of the grammar, the book design, the book layout, and the text of the book. I designed the logo of the book and of the company. I designed the website, and wrote it. I implemented the plugins and updated the code. Conceptualizations and examples, cost calculations, marketing plans and ads. If you see it or read it … me. Finished but not seen: a booklet version of the Noun Map, and an app I wrote for just the Noun Map. Now, multiply by 100 to account for re-doing deadend work, problems, troubleshooting, and research for each. Am I exhausted? No way! (Am I exhausting? Probably.)

Not My Work

I did not make those cute people graphics, which are royalty-free purchases. I did not write the website theme and plugins. I used chatGPT to trouble shoot my implementations of the plugins that involved code. You tell me – is that still me doing something? The website images are generated by Firefly AI and prompted by me (obviously). I wrote the licenses with the assistance of chatGPT. (There is no such things as AI magic; that took me about 2 months.) My family proof-read the results. On the topic of intellectual property, my husband being at a patent law firm has been some help.

One Woman Show

No one else was responsible or involved. Other people didn’t know what I was cooking up (beyond “book“). This is a one woman show over years and years. Makers gonna make. (Now you see why I’ve had no time for social media, as I mention on the Extras > Art Contest page.) 

Dedication

No, no no… that does not say it all. There IS someone else to give credit to. As a stay-at-home entrepreneur mom, I’ve had the ability to do all that I’ve listed above and more. I thank my husband for providing me with the freedom to have such a rich life of ideas. But, wait! There’s still more! A family. I was on course to be unintentionally childless, as people say these days. Raising kids, having a family of wonderful adults to enjoy the rest of my life… Wow, it has been the pleasure of a lifetime. The world is so good with them in it. If I had known what fun it would be, I would have started earlier and had more. I have my husband to thank for the family I have, plus what I have been able to achieve. That long list above… it wasn’t a one-woman show. It was us. It was a marriage. I dedicate this project to my husband. Thank you, Frank.

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